What does Christmas mean to you? Hang on, I'm going deep here. Last night we asked Asher what his favorite Christmas was. He's 11 so there's not a lot to choose from and he immediately went with "last year". We tried to prod him with "do you remember . . . " adding certain things that we remembered from one year or another but he had no recollection at all. This small exchange tied in to my chaotic thought process that led to this entry.

I look back over the 55 years that I have had and I can't say that I can pick a favorite at all. I have a lot of Christmas memories bookmarked for various reasons, but I couldn't single out one. If you know me, you know that my dad died when I was ten just a week after Christmas so most of my memories prior that are tough to determine if they are memories of events or memories of a photo. I personally like to think they are memories of the events. I can remember getting a Star Wars bicycle for Christmas and having to return it because the decals were falling off before end of day. I can remember the wooden Santa/Sleigh and Reindeer yard decorations that were cut out of plywood and covered in glitter that my dad staked in to the yard every year with spot lights shining on them. I remember the night I looked out my bedroom window and saw Rudolph flying through the sky (give me a break, I was a kid). I can also remember my a.d.d. (after dad died) Christmases too when I would get my first battery powered remote control car called "Fire Fox". It ran on 8 D sized batteries and would gulp them down in twenty minutes. I remember getting a Merlin, a typewriter, an Atari. I can remember the year that I came home from a date on Christmas eve and Mom had gone to bed. Something made me think it was okay to go ahead and look at all my presents. I remember the disappointment in my mom's face the next morning. There were the Christmases that I spent very little time with family because I was with others that I thought was more important. Side note; if they make you think they are more important than your family, they aren't important enough to be with you. There were the Christmases after Mom developed dementia and I would get gifts that really didn't make much sense, but meant the world to me. There were the Christmases that I had after Mia and I got together and I watched the joy in the girls eyes each year. Asher being born and watching the joy in the girls eyes helping with his Christmas. The Christmases after Mom passed. Now we have a grandchild and we get to watch our child experience the love of Christmas from that perspective. We get to experience Christmas as grandparents. We have to share our time because there are others in our family now that take time away from us because they have family too. Hold them. Write them down. Photograph them. Don't forget them. Each Christmas is a moment in time that is usually wrapped in pretty lights, and love. Forget the gifts. Enjoy your family.